I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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