I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize