i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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