We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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