dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
