i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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