Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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