jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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