chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
