Small penises have feelings too.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
