I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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