never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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