She said her name was "party"
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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