I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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