evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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