I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
