You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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