do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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