why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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