Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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