I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
