take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
