But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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