He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
