Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
