Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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