I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
send nudes
from the living room?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
