I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize