I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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