Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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