I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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