I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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