Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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