; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
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