Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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