mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
That's intense
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
