Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
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