so explain again why im purple
no
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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