The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
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