i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
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You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
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Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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