Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
