All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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