she was so not down for the gang bang
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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