I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
