I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
