Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
