Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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