you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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