What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
