The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I need to calm my uterus...
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
