You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
