Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize