I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
