I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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