woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize