So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize