Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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