guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
