Betty ford says i'm here all night
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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